Electronics: The Good and the Bad

Electronics have a place in our lives.  I believe is nearly impossible to live a life today without them.  And frankly, they’re the main reason I have a job: men who lack self-mastery use them to look at pornography, break the hearts of their poor wives, and I work with these amazing ladies to bring joy back into their lives.

But they also have an amazing place in our world.  They allow connection to people and places where there was little to no previous connection.  Social media sites allow us to communicate with family and friends with whom we may have otherwise lost track.  We can call for help when our car breaks down on the side of the road instead of just praying that a police car shows up, or walking the mile to find the next yellow call box. (Do they even have those anymore?)

Anyways, you get the point.  Cel phones, computers, and tablets all have a useful place in our lives.  I have found though, not only with my clients but with myself, that connections using electronics can become a burden when not used wisely.  How many times do we find ourselves mindlessly scrolling through pinterest or facebook, or playing one of the endless supply of infinite runners or puzzle games that are available at our fingertips?  How often are we spending time doing this instead of engaging in activities that would truly enrich our lives.  How often does work stay undone, goals go unmet, children go ignored, and dinner haphazardly slapped together in the name of “downtime” on our devices.


Downtime is good.  Downtime is important.  But is what you’re doing really downtime?  Or is it numbing?  Is what you’re facing elsewhere in your life so overwhelming that you’re ignoring it?  If so, step away from the phone.  Then make a list.  Dump everything out of your brain onto paper.  Next, set certain “phone time” blocks in your schedule; say first thing in the morning, during lunch, and before bedtime.  Finally, start tackling that list.  You don’t have to plow through it super-quick.  You don’t want to frustrate yourself because it’s so tiring.  Start with a couple easier things.  Then do something harder.  Then breeze through some easier things.  Next, tackle something you’ve been putting off for a long time.  It’ll feel really good!  Remember to get your schedule phone time in!

Still feeling overwhelmed?  Reach out to me on my contact page.  I can help you set goals to spend more time doing what’s important and will fulfill your life.

Building Ourselves

I read a quote the other day that struck me.  It was in the May 2016 issue of the Ensign Magazine, a publication of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  It was an address given by Neill F. Marriot.  (I am LDS, or Mormon, though I try to publish content that all my readers can relate to, so if you’re not, stick with me here anyways.)

She spoke of a women’s desire to nurture.  That is what we do, naturally: nurture and bring others up.  Our children, sometimes our husbands, friends, neighbors, and others all benefit from our innate desire to nurture.

Sister Marriott says, “However, the first child of God we must build up… is ourselves.”  I can attest to this fact. I have had times where I’m trying to care for my children, run a house, be a good wife, but I feel like I have so little energy reserve to pull from, and my family does not get the attention and care they should.

This is why one of the first things taught in betrayal recovery is self care.  It is not a new concept.  Have you heard the quote, “You can’t pour from an empty cup?”  It’s true!  If we do not first nurture ourselves, we can not give to others.

Empty cup

Taking care of ourselves is vital to our health and wellness.  The four kinds that I emphasize or physical care, spiritual care, mental/emotional care, and temporal.  In future blog posts, I will go over how you an use these concepts to gain better control over your own life.

Until then, if you need help, feel free to reach out to me on my contact page.  I’d love to help you take control of your life and live the life you dream.