When You Can’t Say What You Want To Say

The loss of a dear friend this week prompted this blog post. I have known my friend for over 30 years. He had been sick for a while, and inside I knew he wasn’t going to bounce back this time. I had so much in my heart that I wish I could have said to him.

I turned to one of my favorite tools, a journal I keep on an app on my phone. This is my “Letters” journal. I write letters to people when I have something pressing to tell them that I can’t say to them.

Usually, I write these letters because what I have to say to them would be pointless to say out loud. I have written to people who have misused me, and seeing them again to say goodbye or call them out on their behavior would risk drawing me back into the drama. I have written to people who have disappointed me, and telling them wouldn’t be inappropriate. Occasionally I have even written to myself.

This is the first time I’ve written to someone who’s passed away, but the therapeutic effect was no less effective. Part of the effectiveness is that I use the speech to text feature on my phone. I get the effect of actually saying those words out loud. The other part is that I can go back and “re-write” as often as I need to make sure I say what I need to say in the most effective and precise manner.

I encourage you to try this technique. If you have words swirling in your mind that you can’t get perfect or can’t get out, try writing them down. Some people process best hand-writing on paper. For others, a device is effective. Do what is best for you. This technique brings great peace to my soul and can have the same effect for you.

— I use the “Journey” app on my Android phone. I paid a few dollars for the upgraded version, so if I ever get the hankering to print my journal, I can

Published by Heidi Davies

I am a certified life coach. I work with women who feel powerless to external circumstances. I can help you find your fight to live the life you dream.

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