Remember, like, three years ago when I started a series on self-care? No? That’s okay. I don’t blame you. But to prove I’m not a quitter, I’m going to finish it. Except without the cheesy little graphic things that I put in the other ones. Sorry folks. I just don’t have time for that anymore. (Don’t know what I’m talking about? See here and here.) (You should read those anyways because they’re the first two legs of self-care.)
Have you heard the phrase “Knowledge is Power”? This is the basis of intellectual self-care. As my ex-husband’s pornography addiction grew worse and worse, I didn’t know what to do about it. I lectured. I pleaded. I yelled. I cried. Nothing worked. I started learning about the nature of addiction and how it affects the addict. More importantly, I began to learn about how a spouse can be affected by their loved one’s pornography addiction, and how to overcome those affects. It’s this knowledge that began to allow me to heal.
Whatever you challenge, whatever your trial, invest time to learn. Search out the best books. What does science say about it? What does religion say about it? Who has overcome this challenge? What steps did they take? What were the resources they found valuable? As you learn, you will gain power to overcome whatever trial it is you are facing.
Are you dealing with the effects of betrayal trauma? Here are some of my favorite books.